Why is the weather such a common metaphor for mood?
Apparently, humans have been using it as a metaphor for a long time
The reason is quite simple, certain types of weather evoke certain emotions
So we’ve started associating those emotions with the weather
Anyway, that’s not really what I wanted to write about, I just found it interesting

—

I’ve figured something out recently

There’s a certain feeling that I’ve experienced a lot
The best description I have for it is a sky filled with grey clouds
Everything’s just a little more negative
A joke at my expense might sting more, when normally it would be totally fine
A minor setback hits harder, when normally I’d shrug it off
Empty time is hard to fill, when normally I’d find something to do

This is a feeling that has been very common, for me
I’ve learned to associate it with depression
The constant negative filter over everything
A constant lack of motivation

I feel, genuinely, that I’ve come out of this depression, for well over a year now
But still, sometimes these grey clouds appear
The interesting thing is, I’ve started to notice a pattern about them
I’ve noticed that, for me, there’s a strong correlation with how or how long I sleep
I’m a morning person, so I need to go to bed on time
If I don’t do that, I’ll still wake up early, but I’ll be tired
Too little sleep makes you tired, what a knowledge bomb, I know

It’s a specific kind of tiredness, though
There are also days where I wake up tired, but the clouds don’t appear
I haven’t fully nailed down what it is yet that triggers this
But it has something to do with how I go to bed and how on-time I do it

The way I’ve started to view it, going to bed late a certain cost attached to it
If the evening was great, such as a great conversation or a lot of fun playing boardgames
Then it doens’t matter too much if I didn’t sleep enough
I can still rely on the happiness from the day before to keep me going
I also need to make sure that I relax before I try to sleep
No gaming and then straight to bed, that will not let me sleep well, usually

It can be hard to do this, though, go to bed on time and take the time to wind down, too
But seeing this pattern is very important, because it allows me to do something to help myself
When it’s evening, and I’m playing games with friends, for example, it’s easy to think that I can stay up for one more game
It’s easy to think I’ve been feeling fine for the last few days, I can do one more and maybe not read a book before I sleep

But now that I’m learning to see this pattern, I can pull this cost forward
Instead of just regretting my choice the morning after
I can imagine what I will likely feel like on the evening itself
And I can use this imagined feeling to push myself to go to bed

It’s one of the many skills that I have learned
But it’s a very important one
Because as long as long as I do that
It’s only sunshine
And blue skies.